Mad Season
by Rachel Lynn
Summary: Daisuke's got feelings for Izzy. Daishiro. Yaoi. (wahoo!! It's finished! Stick a fork in it, the sucker's done! *sweatdrop* Erm. ^-^;)
1. Default Chapter

****

Disclaimer: Digimon, sadly enough, is not mine…

****

Author's Note: Yeah, yeah…I know…It's not finished…This is gonna be one of those chaptered thingys. ^-^ Why? Erm. It just is, 'kay? Oh, and speaking of Kay, she deserves some credit here. I've been reading some of her fics lately. (Koushiro-kun!! *cries at the thought of Kay's "Dry These Tears"* ) I f you haven't read her stuff, then you're really missing out. Where was I going with this? Oh yeah, I got this whole Daishiro thing stuck in my brain because of her. *points* I'm not sure if this qualifies as corruption or not, but I keep seeing those two boys together now. Anyway…*sweatdrops* Please don't be mad! (I think that once again I'm making very little sense. Surprise, surprise…*-*) Let's see important stuff to know that makes reading the rest of this author's note worth your time: Daisuke's seventeen. Koushiro's nineteen. Jyou's twenty. Matt just turned nineteen. Oh and this is set in the same universe as "Bed of Lies". And yes, at the moment, I have a thing for Match Box 20. The song's Mad Season by them. (Yes, my snazy titles for fics! This is why I write song fics all the time. I never have to think of titles then. *blows raspberries*) I blame this fic on Spring break, having too much time on my hands, and not wanting to go to the DMV (those evil, evil people!!!) to get my driver's license renewed. (I took the test once already!!! What more do they want?!?! So what if it was six years ago!?!?! So what if I have a shoddy memory!?!?! *sweatdrops* …) Oh boy…oh yeah, this is Yaoi. The only bashings that are acceptable are the ones that pick on the writing. Okay, okay…I'm shutting up now…

****

Mad Season

By Rachel Lynn

***

__

I feel stupid-but I know it won't last for long

I've been guessing - I coulda been guessing wrong

***

"Twinkies…Snickers bar…Buttterfinger…Triple scoop vanilla fudge sundaes…chocolate covered rice balls…"

"Daisuke, shut up!" I snap as I wearily rise to my feet. The room's covered in dust, I'm covered in dust. Great. Just great. As if this day couldn't get any worse. Of all the possible people I coulda gotten trapped with, it _had_ to be Daisuke. "Can't you think of anything but food?"

"Nope. I'm starvin', man. How long have we been stuck in this stupid room?" He asks me plaintively. Light's filtering in through the ceiling, so I look at my watch. 

"Twenty minutes." I tell him. I look back up at the ceiling, disgusted. I've already tried climbing up there. But the shifting rubble made me nervous. The last thing I want to do is disturb the structural integrity of the building. I glance back at Daisuke and roll my eyes. He's just sitting there, watching me. Like I'm supposed to produce some miracle and get us out of this jam. The _least_ he could have done was climb up there with me. He's supposed to be the adventurous one. Not me. 

"How long do you think it'll be before someone realizes we're here and rescues us?" He asks me next as I start pacing nervously. 

"It'll probably be a couple hours at least. My guess is that the whole district suffered damage like this. If they even have rescue squads assembled, they'll have to be sifting through all the buildings. And if they all look like this, we might be here for a long time." He shrugs off my explanation. He hasn't moved from that spot since the whole thing happened, and it's beginning to irritate me. 

"Chocolate covered raisins…my Mom's meatloaf…anything Matt cooks…" 

If he was looking for a way to get back at me for being so short with him, he's found it. Matt and Jyou. In all my life I don't think I've ever had one thing to feel jealous about. It just always seemed to me that I had the things that I needed and that I wanted. And anything I couldn't have, I could easily live without. Until them. 

"Daisuke, we're stuck in a crumbling building. Do you think you could possibly focus for three minutes and try and help me figure a way out of here?" I snap as I continue pacing. 

"Matt and Jyou, huh? Who would've figured, right? Bet Jyou's living the high life with having Matt cook for him all the time like that." I grind my teeth as I ignore him. I spent years debating, waiting for the right opportunity, trying to screw my courage up. And in the end, I didn't even realize I had a chance until it was already too late. Jyou. The guy I've been in love with since I was like twelve. 

It just all happened so fast. One minute we were good, _single_ friends. And the next minute, Matt's father had kicked him out, Jyou had taken him in, and they'd fallen in love. Just like that. 

And once again, I was standing on the outside looking in. 

"Man, you're making me dizzy. Just sit already, Koushiro. They'll rescue us when they rescue us." I turn to glare at Daisuke, but he's not even paying attention, so why bother? Sighing, I walk over to him and plop down a couple of feet from him on the dusty floor. 

"So why did you want to meet me here anyway?" I ask finally as the silence starts to get a bit overwhelming. "You never did say."

***

__

You don't know me now

I kinda thought that you should somehow

Does that whole mad season got you down

***

I'm annoying the snot out of him. I can tell just by the way he keeps pacing like that and shooting glares in my direction. Damn. Well, the great Daisuke Motomiya screws up again. It's the story of my goddamn life. And the day had started off so well too…

I manage a half smile at that. Sometimes I'm too arrogant for my own good. I left my apartment this morning convinced that there was no way he could turn me down. I mean, Jyou and Matt have been together now for at least three months. I should have a chance. Even if all I'll ever be to him is someone to rebound with. If that's all I can get from him, then I'll gladly take it. 

I draw a deep breath and then wince painfully. Baka. Seems like I'm always chasing someone who's chasing someone else. Kari, before I realized I was gay. Ken, after that. They both had crushes of their own, and plans of their own, none of which included me. 

"Chocolate covered raisins…my Mom's meatloaf…anything Matt cooks…" Anything to get my mind off the excruciating pain in my side. I kick myself mentally though as Koushiro winces at my reference to Matt. Idiot. Why don't you just rub salt in his wound?

"Daisuke, we're stuck in a crumbling building. Do you think you could possibly focus for three minutes and try and help me figure a way out of here." He snaps back. Great. It's like I have this amazing ability. If I like someone, I gain the power to irritate them to no end. Over all, it just doesn't seem very fair. I look up at him as he continues to pace. I know he wants me to get up and climb to the top of that rubble heap with him, but right now, it just ain't gonna happen. I manage another painful breath as I move slightly. God, this hurts. Hurts almost as much as knowing that Koushiro's still in love with Jyou.

The guy's never going to see me as anything more than a pest.

I look over at his profile. Love the hair, I think with a tiny grin. Everything about him is so neat and orderly. Everything, from his backpack to the clothes he's wearing, is neat and meticulous. 'Cept the hair. He's got spiky auburn locks that just refuse to conform. 

God. Why can't he see that I love him? 

"Matt and Jyou, huh? Who would've figured, right? Bet Jyou's living the high life with having Matt cook for him all the time like that." It's a mean thing to say, and I know it. But hey. I'm just stupid, never-had-a-clue Daisuke. I can get away with saying stuff like this because no one ever expects any better from me. But I'd…well…I'd hoped Koushiro would've. 

So what if I was a naïve little brat at twelve? I don't know if anyone else but me noticed, but I'm not twelve anymore. I just turned seventeen last month. Next year I'm gonna be off at college. Me. Daisuke Motomiya. At college. I can manage an ironic smile at that. If I'm smart enough to get accepted, how come I feel so stupid? I look back up at Koushiro. 

I've always been attracted to the smart types. And I've always been a bit intimidated by them too. Maybe that's why I'm such an idiot around them. Smart kids like Koushiro, Ken, and Kari? What could they possibly see in someone like me? An obnoxious loud-mouthed jock. 

"Man, you're making me dizzy. Just sit already, Koushiro. They'll rescue us when they rescue us." I tell him quietly. His pacing is making me dizzy. 'Course everything's making me dizzy at the moment. I'm told blood loss does that to a person. As unobtrusively as possible, I try to put more pressure on my side. Damn, this hurts like hell. Schooling my features though, I shoot Koushiro an inane smile. 

God, I've gotten good at this. Chameleons don't have a damn thing on me. Just bury all of it inside me and show a new skin to the world. Koushiro plops down beside me with a disgruntled sigh, and I bite back the tears that keep wanting to pop into my eyes. Baka. I asked him to lunch today, so intent on telling him how I felt. What a joke. A computer genius like him…interested in a moron like me? Who was I trying to kid?

Myself I guess. I know he thinks I'm just this arrogant snot. I…I guess everyone does. I don't exactly do a lot to disabuse them of the notion. But no one else is going to give me pep talks or think that I'm worth anything. That job always seems to fall to me. So, I guess if it seems like I'm always blowing my own whistle, well then so what. It's either tell myself that I'm worth something and try to believe that, or fall into believing what the rest of the world does. That I'm just some mindless, good-for-nothing jock who talks too loud. 

"So why did you want to meet me here anyway?" He asks me out of the blue. Shit. "You never did say." Well, no kidding. In his world, what chance do I possibly stand against someone like Jyou? Me and Jyou? We couldn't be any more different if we tried. 

I know. I tried to be more like Koushiro's love. I suppose it was a pathetic attempt to try and catch his attention. To try and be a person he might notice. Fat chance. One day of trying to be Jyou, and I had half the school convinced I needed medication. Koushiro hadn't even given me more than the usual passing glance when I'd found him after school. 

"I just wanted to cheer you up." I tell him, wincing at the words. Cheer him up? Oh yeah, I'm sure this is a blast for him. Getting caught in the middle of an Earthquake with the bratty kid that won't leave him alone. 

***

__

I feel stupid but it's something that comes and goes

I've been changin' - think it's funny how no one knows

***

"Oh." I return. I'm not quite sure how to react. He wanted to cheer me up? Daisuke. The guy who usually can't see past his own nose? What? Have I been _that_ mopey lately? He flashes me one of those inane grins of his, and I don't know what to think. 

"What was it that you love so much about Jyou?" Gyah! My head flips around to look at him. How did he _know_? He's not looking at me though. He's staring up at the cracks in the ceiling with his arms still crossed over his stomach. 

"What…what makes you think…"

"It's obvious, Koushiro. It's obvious to everyone but Jyou and Matt." He says almost gently. I manage a sigh as I sit there. Sometimes I wish I could be more like Daisuke. Blunt and straight to the point. Maybe then I would've had a chance with Jyou. But that's not the way I am. Hell, half the time I can't even admit to myself how I feel. 

Turning, I give the mahogany haired boy another glance. He's been…around a lot lately. Every time I turn around, he's there. He still wears Tai's old goggles. It's kinda…cute, in a way. "Why do you want to know?" I ask him finally, admitting indirectly that what he's said is true. He shrugs stiffly as he avoids my gaze. Which is just downright weird. What's going on here? 

"I dunno. Just curious I suppose. I mean, no offense, but from where I'm sitting you two don't seem very well matched." Well, la-dee-da. Who asked him anyway? I grumble silently to myself. 

"It's just a lot of little things. Like his reliability, his easy going nature…just a lot of things." I say before leaning back against the same half crumbled wall that Daisuke's up against. I fall silent as I think about it. I guess it doesn't hurt either that Jyou's awfully good looking too. And then there was the fact that he was just about as geeky as me. I guess it just seems to me that we fit together. And him and Matt? I manage a bitterly ironic smile. Cool, suave, doesn't-have-a-care in the world Matt. With someone like Jyou? 

I mean, it's no wonder I never saw it coming. 

"What d'ya call a fish with two knees?" My head swings back to Daisuke. 

"What?" I respond rather unintelligently. Hey, I've never been much of a people person. I prefer interacting with my computer infinitely more. My laptop doesn't laugh at me or expect me to be or act a certain way. People, on the other hand…I'm pretty socially inept. 

"A fish with two knees. A tun-nee fish!" He giggles. And despite the fact that it's like the lamest joke I've ever heard, I hear myself laughing. He's got this grin on his face as he looks back at me. A lot of people have said he's like a carbon copy of Tai, but I guess I just don't see it. Oh sure, there's the fact that he wears those goggles. But Daisuke's eyes are a much darker brown then Tai's. And then there's his hair. It's shorter, spikier, and it's more of a dark auburn shade then Tai's mouse brown hair. That, and looks aside, Tai never ever seemed quite as interested as Daisuke in getting me outside and playing soccer. The kid's like a dog with a bone sometimes. Real tenacious. And Tai? Well, as much of a good friend as Tai is, he has an attention span that lasts for all of five minutes. 

"Say, I wanted to say that I'm sorry I missed our match yesterday." I tell him, as I realize that it completely skipped my mind. I don't know how he conned me into it, but he's been teaching me to play soccer. It's actually kinda…fun. Which is surprising. I haven't got a coordinated bone in my body, and of all my classes in school, gym was always the one I dreaded the most. It's just that with Daisuke, there's no rules, no pressure. All we do is kick the ball back and forth and goof around. Occasionally, he'll show me how to maneuver the ball or kick it a certain way, but mostly it's just the two of us horsing around. 

"Eh, no biggie." He shrugs it off. "Next time I'll just come over to your place and kidnap you. Can't let you turn into one of those skinny, pale computer geeks that never leave their bedrooms." He shoots me a teasing grin as I feel my face heat. I'm not _that_ bad…am I? 

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." I mutter with half a grin. "Whatever. Say, thanks for pushing me out of the way earlier." I wince mentally. The poor kid shoves me out of the way of a crashing wall, and a weak thanks twenty minutes later is the best I can come up with? And of course, that's after I've lost my temper and snapped at him. Great going, Izumi. "And I'm sorry about yelling at you earlier. I've just been a little edgy lately." I apologize. Lately? Try the last three months. 

"Dude. I know you don't like the idea of Jyou and Matt together, but they are. And I think it's for the best. I mean, they really do love each other, and I think they have a way of balancing each other out." I look over at him and try not to glare. From the way he's wincing though, I don't think I succeeded. "Look, Koushiro. Those two need each other more than you need Jyou. I know that's not what you want to hear, but it's the truth, okay? Jyou and Matt are better together than they are apart. And according to my mother, that's the mark of real love." 

I shrug noncommitingly. He's given me something to think about, at least. 

***

__

We don't talk about - the little things we do without

When that whole mad season comes around

***

He doesn't even know I exist. Looking at him out of the corner of my eye, I watch as he shrugs noncomittingly at my words. Baka. Daisuke, you idiot, leave the guy be.

At least Kari and Ken could tell that I liked them. But Koushiro? He's completely oblivious. In some ways it's a good thing. In other ways, it's hell. And just watching him now. Damn, I don't mean a thing to him. I'm still the little kid that pesters him and won't let him work on his computer in peace. I'm still that brat that doesn't know a blasted thing about anything. 

But goddamn it, I'm trying. I'm trying to be a smarter person. I want to be a smarter person. For him, for myself. 

He's never going to see it that way. And I mean, why should he? I'm like this annoying mosquito that won't leave him alone. Hell, I'm like that for everyone. I know Koushiro thinks he's like not social or anything, but he's got a lot more going for him than I do. The most I can manage to do is constantly stick my foot in my mouth. People rarely get pissed at someone who doesn't say much. 

Oh, but can I keep my mouth shut? Hell, no. I've been told to get lost more times than I thought humanly possible. But I just keep coming back for more. It's pathetic really. I just don't have the good sense to stay down. I manage a rough sigh. 

My side's burning something fierce, and my fingers are sticky with my own blood. I should care. I really should. But maybe this is where I finally get it right. Maybe this is where I finally learn to stay down. Pathetic. Good-for-nothing. Dumb jock. Egotistical bastard. Moron. I hear it from everyone. From my enemies to my friends. At some point or another, everyone always gets around to calling me something of the sort. 

And if it had just been a few people, maybe I could've ignored it. But almost everyone has said or thought those things about me. And if they all think that, then isn't it a given that it's true? I know I act like it doesn't bother me. I know that I act like it's some huge joke when people say those sort of things. And I guess it is a joke. On me. 

"You feeling okay, Daisuke?" I turn my head and look over at Koushiro. 

"Yeah, why?" 

"I dunno. You just look a little pale, and you're too…quiet, you know?" He returns uncertainly. Too quiet, huh? Translation: why aren't I being my normal hyper, incredibly annoying obnoxious self?

"I'm fine." I tell him as I put more pressure on my side. It really hasn't stopped the blood from flowing yet, but hell, at this point who cares? Besides, maybe it's just better this way. 

I guess, if I ever bothered to look really deep, I might consider that I could be suicidal. But I don't think that deep. Ha-ha. What a joke. Me thinking deep. I manage a wry grin at that. Nah, I'm not suicidal. I just wish sometimes, actually most of the time, that I wasn't. I wouldn't be a pest if I didn't exist. I wouldn't be the annoying, unwanted tag-along if I'd never been born. 

Who am I kidding? I look in the morning every morning and this obnoxious fool stares back at me. I hate that face in the mirror. Truth be told, I'm disgusted by what I see when I look at my reflection. It's just pitiful. Simply pitiful. That klutzy can-do-nothing-right kid. Even this. I stare around at the crumbled debris ridden room. I try to confess my love for someone and I get them stuck in a place like this instead. 

Glancing back over at Koushiro, I manage a smile as he stares up at the ceiling with that thoughtful look on his face. When was it that I started falling for him? Eh, probably when he started tutoring me in calculus. Never knew someone could make math at least halfway interesting, let alone fascinating. I spent _years_ struggling through math class after math class, barely managing to keep my head above water in them. But sitting down with Koushiro, and having him explain it to me, it was like someone had handed me a key to this brand new world. 

It's just that his curiosity is so damn contagious. 

His whole face just comes alive when he's figuring something out. But it's more than that. I like the way he laughs at my jokes, even though we both know they are about the corniest things he's ever heard. On Saturdays we'll kick the soccer ball around and just talk. He needs the exercise, and I just like hearing him tell me about his latest theory or the new bit of information he came across. Scary thing is that recently, when he tells me something new, I'm starting to understand what it is he's talking about. Me. The moron. 

Ah, he's probably finally learned to dumb it down for me. 

"Do you feel that?" I yank myself out of my thoughts at Koushiro's question. 

"Feel what?" I ask and a split second later I _know_ what. "It's an aftershock." Yay me. I can state the obvious. I don't have much time to consider it though, because as the rumbling grows in intensity, I can see junks starting to fall from the ceiling. Then there's the beam above us. I watch it, almost in a trance as it starts to fall. 

"Daisuke!" I can feel Koushiro grab my wrist and yank. For a moment there's nothing, and then there's a sickening pop as he yanks me away from the piece of steel in the wall behind me. 

***


	2. Chapter 2

****

Disclaimer: Digimon and Daisuke are very unfortunately, not mine…*sniffles*

****

Author's notes: Chapter two! ^-^ Yay! Let's see if I can actually upload it now. *sweatdrops* Techno stuff is sooooo not my strong point. I think this turned out way fluffier and way more cheddary than I intended, but oh well…win some, lose some. I still love Dai-chan. (And Jyou and Koushiro and Matt and Tai and TK and…anyone else sensing a trend here? ^-^) And thanks Reese, Jin, Glay, Finny, Sincerity, and Phoenix of Blood Red Mars for the nice reviews! Thankyou-thankyou! (And I am soooo sorry if this doesn't live up to the expectations. *sweatdrops*)

***

__

So why ya gotta stand there

Looking like the answer now

It seems to me - you'd come around

I need you now

***

"Daisuke!" I yell as I watch the beam start to fall. He's just sitting there looking up at it. Without thinking, I reach over and grab his wrist, pulling for all I'm worth. For a moment, there's some resistance, and then we both go flying to the other side of the tiny room as the beam comes crashing down with a resounding thud. 

Coughing, I try to blink, but there's so much dust in the air that it's hard to see and it's hard to breathe for a moment. I can feel Daisuke's hand clench in mine as he struggles to sit up. In a way, it's oddly comforting. He's coughing pretty hard and as the dust starts to clear, I can see him trying to push up off the floor with his hands. 

"Are you okay?" I ask as I catch sight of his damp back. There's something about it that just doesn't make sense. It's not that hot, he shouldn't have been sweating that much. Maybe he's claustrophobic. I put a hand on his back. 

"Ow!" He yells hoarsely. "Shit…that…hurts." The words come out in shallow gasps as I pull my hand quickly back to my side, confused. 

"Daisuke?" I glance from him down to my own damp hand. Even in the dusty light, I can see that it's coated in blood. His blood. Oh god. I swallow convulsively. "Oh my god, Daisuke." I breathe out scared as I reach over gingerly and help him into a sitting position. He shoots me a grateful smile. God, how can he be smiling at a time like this?! "What happened?" 

"Just…a scratch." He tells me as he weakly tries to push my hands away. There's a thin layer of sweat gathering on his forehead, and just from the way he's breathing, I can tell it's hurting him a great deal. Just a scratch! Peeling back his dark blue shirt from his back, I can see a jagged ripped hole in the fabric. 

"Sure, whatever Daisuke." I mumble nervously as I get a better look at his injury. He's got this gash on his right side, and blood just keeps streaming out of it. Even in the dim light, I can tell it's deep. How did this _happen_?! I suck in a sharp breath of air. What am I going to do? What _can_ I do? Think Izumi! 

"Is…it really…that bad?" He asks me in that same hoarse voice as he puts a hand on my arm to gain my attention. What am I supposed to do? Tell him the truth and risk scaring him, or lie and say everything's just fine and that it isn't half as bad as it looks? His hand slides off my arm as I take too long to answer. But looking down, I can see the trail of blood he's left. 

"You're going to be fine." I lie. Or maybe it isn't so much of a lie. If I have to kill myself trying, I'll make sure he gets out of this okay. Jyou's not the only one who can be reliable. I try pulling up at the front of his shirt because the blood on his hand is making me nervous all over again. 

"Hey…no peekin'." He pushes away, but I manage to get it up far enough to see his stomach. I feel chills roll up my spine when I see that whatever it was that punctured him has gone all the way through. Damn! He's probably been bleeding like this for the last half-hour, and I never had a clue! Some genius I am! Don't panic. I take a deep breath. Here I was getting all mad at him for just sitting there and I never realized…

"Dude, it's no big deal." He tells me as I watch his hand go back down to his side and squeeze. Looking up at his dark brown eyes, I can see that they're beginning to look just a little dazed. Pressure! That's it. I may not be able to stop him from bleeding, but I can help slow it down. Funny how he'd already thought of it himself. He really is smarter than he acts sometimes. People don't give him enough credit. 

"Woo-hoo, Koushiro. Take…it all…off." I can hear him manage to get out before he starts coughing again. Shrugging out of my shirt, I roll my eyes at his sense of humor, not for the first time. 

"Yeah, yeah. I'm pretty scrawny. Leave me alone." I retort as I wrap my shirt around him as tight as I can. "Why didn't you tell me you were hurt?" 

"Scrawny?…Says who? I'm smaller…than you." 

"Yes, but you have muscle." I point out as I survey the room. The hole in the ceiling's bigger, and the rock pile leading up to it _looks_ stable. I turn to look back at Daisuke. There's no way he's going to make it up there on his own. But if I don't get him out of here soon, I don't know, I just don't think he can handle losing that much more blood. Not that I'd know, really. I'm not a doctor. "I'm getting you out of here." I tell him, determined now. He shoots me a skeptical glance right before I pull his arms around my neck. 

"Dude, I'm pretty…heavy. You really…think you can…handle me…piggyback. All…the way up…there." I nod as I manage to hoist him up onto my back. I'm going to have to. 

"You're gonna have to hold on fairly tight though, because I think I might need to use my hands to climb up in some spots." I warn him as I start. "Listen, I'm really sorry for snapping at you earlier, Daisuke. I didn't mean it." I apologize. Maybe, if I came out from behind my computer every once in a while, this sort of thing would be easier. 

"What d'ya call an Indian fog?" I manage a small smile. 

"What?" 

"Apache." 

"I don't get it." I tell him, a little worried now. Usually I get most of his corny jokes. I don't know why, but he can just get me to laugh. Maybe it's just that he puts on such an act. And I know it's an act. The guy's been following all my conversations about surface integrals and differential equations at our Saturday meets. Most everyone else's eyes glaze over when I start going on like that, but he just starts asking intelligent questions. Yeah, he's a lot smarter than people give him credit for. 

"It's a Wallace…joke." He grunts painfully as I stumble, scraping my knee on some of the debris. 

"Oh, well that explains it." I say, somewhat relieved. 

"What did the Airdramon…say to the… Seadramon?" I relax a little, he can't be that bad off if he keeps insisting on telling stupid jokes. 

"This is a DemiVeemon joke isn't it?" I return dryly. He chuckles with a hoarse cough. 

"Hey wingless wonder!" I laugh. Not so much because the joke itself is funny, but more because I can see DemiVeemon telling the joke, convinced it's the most hysterical thing he's ever heard. "Poor blue…ball of fuzz…his jokes never…make any sense."

"Oh, and yours do?" I tease. Just a couple more feet and we'll be out of here. I can feel the pile beneath me shifting slightly, like it had before. And it still makes me nervous. But with Daisuke bleeding like this, going back and waiting just seems so useless. 

"What d'ya call it…when a thousand rabbits…take a step…back?" 

"You've been watching _way_ too much TV." I tell him. "Remind me to lend you that new sci fi book I just bought." 

"A receding hare line!" He giggles again and I laugh. "What's the…book?" I grin. 

"Magic's Pawn. Mercedes Lackey." I tell him as I manage to scramble over the edge of the ceiling and up onto the roof. Looking out, I can see that the quake's done a lot of damage. There's a lot of people moving chaotically in the streets, but I can see a couple policemen, a few firemen, and a handful of paramedics helping everyone try and get out safely. "Now to get you some help." I tell Daisuke, as I move towards the edge of the roof. "Daisuke?" I ask as I feel his entire body go limp. "Daisuke!"

***

__

Do you think you can cope

You figured me out - I'm lost and I'm hopeless

Bleeding and broken-though I've never spoken

I come undone-in this mad season

***

All I can do is stand here and do my damnedest not to shake. It's all a blur really. Getting Daisuke off the roof, and into the hands of a paramedic. Watching him as they took him here. His eyes never opening once. The hospital's an absolute zoo. Funny how I'm not hearing a sound. 

He was telling jokes damn it. I knew he wasn't doing great, but he was telling jokes. 

He's gonna be just fine. Funny how thinking that isn't making me feel any better. He's Daisuke. Unbeatable. He'll be just fine. He always is. It's strange how I never realized I liked having him around this much until I realized he might not be there anymore. In the past year, he's become my best friend. 

I'm shaking, and I just can't seem to stop. I suppose that's okay. I mean, I just survived through an earthquake. But Daisuke? He's gonna get better. I have to keep telling myself that. 

"Izzy?! Oh my god, Izzy, are you okay?" My head jerks up at the sound of my name, and I look up to see Matt and Jyou staring down at me worriedly. I give a jerky nod. Am I really okay? Probably not. 

"What are you guys doing here?" Jyou's leaning slightly against Matt with an elbow propped up on the blonde's shoulder. And as I stare at them, all that goes through my head is what Daisuke was telling me back in the building. _"Jyou and Matt are better together than they are apart."_ Do I really know either of them as well as I thought I did? I mean, I always assumed Jyou would practice medicine. I thought that that was what he wanted to do. But according to Daisuke, he's a History major now. If I'd known him, really known him as well as I thought I knew him, wouldn't I have seen something like that coming? 

And Matt. I didn't know him that well when we were in the digital world. Who am I to say that he and Jyou aren't well matched? I just assumed that because he was always so aloof that he and Jyou couldn't possibly work together. I don't know Matt that well. I'm looking at the two of them, and it's like I'm seeing them with open eyes for the first time. The happiest I've ever seen the two of them look, is like now, when they're with each other. 

"Shin crashed his bike during the quake, and since we live so close to the hospital, my Mom asked us to check up on him and make sure he was okay." Jyou's saying, but I didn't catch the first part. I'm assuming Shin's okay, because neither of them seems too terribly worried. 

I am though. Worried, that is. 

"Izzy, if you're okay, what are you doing here?" That's from Matt. He's looking at me with concern and I want to laugh. He's worried about the wrong person. I'm fine. But Daisuke. He was so pale when they took him away. 

"I was meeting Daisuke for lunch…" That's about as far as I get. "I think I need to sit for a second." I mumble as I slide down to the floor. Matt's there beside me as Jyou walks towards the nurse's station. Good. Maybe they'll tell him more then they're willing to tell me. 

"Take a deep breath." I look over at Matt as he sits down beside me. I shoot him a disgruntled glare, even as I do what he says. "I'm sure Daisuke'll be just fine, Izzy. The guy's like a rubber ball. He always bounces back." I know that. But Matt didn't see what I saw. And it's not his best friend. It's not his best half that he's losing. 

My best half. Oh my god. "I didn't tell him! I didn't know." Miserably, I hold my head in my hands. Why did I never see this before? Why didn't I realize how much he meant to me? "I'm never going to see him again. I'm never going to get a chance to tell him how much it all meant." Distantly, I realize I'm rambling like a complete moron. Which is probably appropriate. That's what I've been for the last year. 

Give me a computer and I'm a goddamn genius. Put me in a room with a person and I can't tell my head from a hole in the wall. For someone who's supposed to be pretty smart, I've been real stupid. Whenever I think of something really interesting that I want to share, who's the first person I call? Daisuke. Who is it that I hang around all the time and goof off with? Daisuke. He gets me to loosen up. God, why did I never realize that before? He doesn't expect me to be some brainiac all the time. In fact, he gets on my case if I stay too serious. But it's more than just friendship. So much more. 

Why did it take this to make me realize? God, I'm such an idiot. 

"Izzy!" My head snaps up as both Jyou and Matt look at me with concern. 

"What?" I return somewhat dazedly. How long have the two of them been there trying to pull me out of my thoughts?

"One of the nurses told me that they've got Daisuke in the OR right now. We can't do him any good just sitting here. Let us take you back to the apartment." Jyou tells me as I focus on his violet eyes. 

"I'm fine." I tell them. "I'll just sit here until he comes out of surgery. It's no big deal, really." I finish quietly. Jyou exchanges a look with Matt and then clears his throat a little bit nervously. 

"Izzy, the nurse asked me if I could take you out of here and get you cleaned up. You're starting to scare people." Jyou tells me and then winces. 

"Nice choice of words there." Matt grins as he gives Jyou's back a comforting rub. "What Jyou's trying to say, Izzy, is that you look like you just came back from shooting a horror flick." I stare at them both a bit confused. 

"I don't think that was much better, Matt." Jyou shoots the blonde a teasing grin as Mattt blushes slightly. I frown at them both and then look down at myself for the first time since I came here. My shirt's gone. Oh, that's right. I tied it around Daisuke's middle. Daisuke. I've got his blood all over me. His hands, which were around my neck, had been covered in it. And as I turned and looked over my shoulder, I can see that my back has dried blood caked on it. And then it's on my pants too. It's everywhere. 

"Oh God." I all but moan as both Jyou and Matt wince. 

"C'mon Izzy, it's not as bad as it looks. Daisuke'll live through anything. He'll be fine." Matt tells me again as both he and Jyou help me up on my feet. 

"He's gotta be." I say dazedly as the two of them lead me out.

***

__

I feel stupid - but I think I been catchin' on

I feel ugly - but I know I still turn you on

You seem colder now, torn apart, angry, turned around

Will that whole mad season knock you down

***

__

Three days later

Where the hell am I? Looking around, I can recognize that it's definitely not my bedroom. My bedroom isn't nearly half this clean. I don't like the way it smells in here though. 

Wrinkling my nose, I try to move and stop as I feel the dull throb in my side. Oh that's right. I'm in the hospital. I don't remember much that's for sure. I think my parents were in here. My sister too. I think. 

Go me. 

Geez, I've made a mess of everything. Again. Never fails. Only someone like me could be this colossally bad at romance. Hell, at anything. I honestly have no concept of how this always happens. Confess my love to Kari. Get slapped. Confess my love to Ken. Cause a car accident. Try and confess my love to Koushiro. Earthquake. I swear, this sucks. 

'Specially because I _really_ wanted this one to work out. Why can't he see what I see when we're together? 

Well, I suppose at least one good thing came out of this whole mess. I got to see him without a shirt. I manage a small grin at that. A whole year of Saturday's and he doesn't take his shirt off once. Not even in the middle of July. I have no idea what it is that he does. Maybe it's lifting that backpack of his all the time. Or typing? Nah, that's stupid. Gotta be the backpack. But he's got a _nice_ chest. 

I manage a weak laugh. Ah man, if I could tell him that. 

Baka. He's in love with Jyou. Good old tall, blue-haired, violet-eyed, smart, intellectual Jyou. Hehe. Like I have a termite's chance in hell. Short, shrimpy, brown eyed, rusty haired, never-can-keep-his-stupid-mouth-shut me. Please, reality check, Motomiya. Maybe I oughta quit banging my head against a brick wall. 

But can I honestly keep this up? Can I keep just being a _friend_? An annoying, unwanted, incredibly stupid friend? 

I guess it's either that or lose him completely. Not much of a choice, really though. 

Ah hell. Who cares anyway. It's not like he wants me around. Someone as smart, as curious, just as with it as he is…what could he possibly see in someone like me? Hell, I'm me, and I don't always see a lot. 

Well, I suppose this is a crossroads. I can tell him exactly how I feel the next time I see him. Have it end like it has in the past with people that I like. Or I can just keep my stupid mouth shut this time, and go my own way before I get kicked that way. 

"Hey Daisuke." My head snaps up and I look over at the doorway. He's standing there, looking at me uncertainly in clothes that are way too big for him. I frown and tilt my head slightly as I stare. 

"You shrunk." I hear myself say. 

***

__

Now I'm crying-isn't that what you want

I'm trying to live my life on my own

But I won't 

***

I stand uncertainly at the doorway. I know that he's awake. He staring straight ahead, blinking. And I want to just run over there and reassure myself that he really is okay. That he really is alive and doing well. But I hesitate. 

I love him. 

And I have absolutely no idea what to do about it. I mean, that is, if I should do anything. His head swivels towards the door, and I know he sees me standing there. 

"You shrunk." He tells me hoarsely. I manage a weak grin at that as I come into the room and sit down in the chair beside the bed. 

"Yeah, I'm wearing Matt's clothes. I've been with them for the past three days waiting for the people here to let me see you." I say quietly as I gingerly lean on the edge of the bed's mattress. 

"Three days?! Have I been here that long?" He looks a bit confused, but then, I was warned that he might be. I nod. "Wow. Three days. Sorry you had to wait so long." He falls silent as he looks at me for a moment. I shift uncomfortably. Then I just go on instinct and reach over, grabbing his hand in mine. He looks at me for a minute and I can see a flash of…something across his face. And then he smiles at me weakly as he squeezes my hand. "So how're Jyou and Matt?"

"Good." I tell him, even though those two are the farthest thing from my mind. I'm far more interested in just looking at him, making sure that he really is there and that I'm not imagining this. "I'm driving them both crazy though. Matt swears that if I say "Daisuke said…" one more time he's going to clobber me with his favorite skillet." 

Daisuke shoots me a smile, but it doesn't reach those dark brown eyes of his. And as I sit there confused, he pulls his hand out of mine and turns his head to stare off towards the window. God, I'm no good at this. I could never read people well. And I haven't had much sleep in the last three days, I've been so worried. Jyou threatened to drug me if I didn't sleep through the night tonight. 

"What?" I finally ask, hating that vulnerable note in my voice. "What did I say wrong?"

"Nothin'." He returns distantly. "It's just me." 

"Are you tired?"

"No." 

"Well, then what is it? Maybe I can help." I say quietly. 

"Quit being so damned nice. You don't have to be, you know." He retorts almost angrily. 

"I don't?" I have no idea what's going on here, but I don't like it. What did I say? 

"No, you don't. Listen, I really appreciate the worry and stuff, but we both know that you probably shouldn't have worried so much. I mean, I've been buggin' the hell out of you for who knows how long. And just now I was thinking about it, and I figured I probably wasn't being very fair to you, pestering you like this all the time. I'm sure you've got other things you'd rather do then put up with a tagalong like me. And I'm sure there are a lot more intelligent people out there that you'd rather talk to." He breaks off and turns his head to the side and stares silently across the room, avoiding my gaze. He can't possibly think that…He doesn't believe that I actually _think_ that, does he? 

Well, I take a deep breath. If our friendship's going to end, I'd rather it be over the truth. "Daisuke, you remember what you told me in the building? You told me that Jyou and Matt were better together than they were apart, and that that was the mark of real love." His gaze flips to mine and I watch as he winces, he opens his mouth to say something, but I cut him off. "Daisuke, I'm a better person when I'm with you." I say quietly. 

***

__

At times - I do believe I am strong

So someone tell me why, why, why

Do I feel stupid

And I came undone

***

"Daisuke, I'm a better person when I'm with you." If I could fall off the bed in shock, I would. But there are too many tubes connected to me. 

"What the hell?" I manage to get out in a somewhat strangled yelp. "Koushiro, what are you talking about? You love Jyou." I remind him. Not one of my smarter moves, exactly. But then, me and smarts don't often go well together in the same sentence. 

"I thought I did. But I don't. I don't even know him that well, really." Huh?

"No. You love Jyou. He's smart, tall, and reliable, remember?" 

"And you're intelligent, funny, and short. Your point?" He snaps back. 

"You just said that if you told Matt one more stupid thing I said he was going to clobber you with a skillet." I yell back. I am _not_ going to cry.

"What?! What the hell are you talking about? Matt only threatened to hit me because I keep talking about you. You know, they don't know a lot about you. They don't know any of your jokes--by the way Jyou loved that Tuna one--and they don't know that you're going to college next year."

"Why should they?" I ask confused. I don't understand what's going on here. "_I'm_ not even sure how I made that happen. Me. Moron Motomiya in college. Of course they didn't know I was going. Who would?" I snap back. Koushiro stands up and glares down at me. I glare back. He reaches over then with his finger and his thumb and thwacks my forehead. "Ow! What the hell was that for?" 

"For not realizing just how smart you are. Damn it, Daisuke. You're incredibly intelligent. Jyou doesn't even understand when I start going on about surface integrals. He gets this glazed look on his face. Same for my mother and my father, and just about everyone but you. You can follow what I'm saying. You find it interesting. And I'm not going to let you sit there and convince yourself that you're somehow not smart enough for college because it's just not true." Damn. I am going to cry. 

"Ah man, don't do that Daisuke." I turn to look over at him and he's got the beginnings of tears in his eyes as well. "I'm sorry. I'm not any good at this. I don't think of you as a tagalong or a pest. Couldn't be farther from the truth. You get me outside, you get me laughing. You get me to just have fun. I love hanging out with you, and I can't believe it took me so long to figure out that it's because I love you." He breaks off. 

"You…you _love_ me?" He nods almost guiltily. 

"Someone pinch me, I have to be dreaming. What drugs exactly _have_ they been giving me? Because I swear to god it sounds like the guy I'm in love with just told me that he loves me too." I give the IV in my wrist an odd glance.

"You love me?" I turn and look over at Koushiro. He looks so awed and timid at the same time. I swallow hard and nod. And then he reaches over and grabs my hand again, a big grin on his face. He loves me. I can feel a huge grin on mine too as he reaches over with his other hand and ruffles my hair. 

"Say, you hear the one about the blonde who walked into a bar?" He's already laughing so I join in. We really are better together than we are apart. 


End file.
